Desire and the internet

Today's realisation, how much it's possible to live in the world of desire rather than the real world. Especially online. It makes me think I need to dress a certain way, have a certain type of lifestyle. I'm sure this comes from insecurity, but up to now it's blinded me. I couldn't even see how much I was being duped. I'm guessing this is a bit of the path to releasing the day job I. Some how my sense of all this is shifting, that I don't need all this stuff, and I can live the way I choose. Who cares if society feels judgemental about it. Really that's society's problem not mine.

Some time ago, I had a dream of sorts, and I was a polar bear who loved in the forest - don't ask me why it was a dream after all! And the bear had two choices, to live in the town, where the food was plentiful, but always stressful. There was the risk of being shot at, but the bins were always full of rubbish to be plundered. It wasn't a healthy life but there was food. It seemed secure but really wasn't. The other choice was to live in the woods, peacefully, with little stress. Nature would provide, and although times could be hard it was a more healthy and contented life. The bear could always venture down to the town if it really needed to, and then retreat back to nature as quickly as possible.

I feel as that bear. That I can live a life with seeming plenty but very stressfully, or live wild and free. It seems so logical, if only I could unstick myself.  Maybe this is another thread breaking.

Counter culture meets the mainstream

Hello again from sunny Kent, and it has been really hot here. In truth a bit too hot for snow loving folks such as myself.

So I'm wilting.  But it's festival season, so at least I've been wilting in a field. Hubby has been selling his jewellery, which is quirky, so goes down well at festivals. So it's been good. Especially since we now have a glamorous (2nd hand, pre-painted) bell tent!

The thing about festivals is the great meeting of mainstream culture with counter culture. It exposes the mainstream to the other ways to see the world. And oh how I have forgotten the counter culture - I have been living in the mainstream for too long, and started to believe its myths. Oh dear. How did that happen?

And I wonder how deep into the counter culture I could go ..... could I give up my job .... could I give up working conventionally completely .... could I travel from festival to festival? What is keeping me in the mainstream, except habit? I'm not sure I have a good answer to that. Definitely worried about justifying my choices to everyone else, about being seen - even just writing this stuff of a blog that no-one reads is scary enough. But thinking about actually letting go, I feel a sense of relief. Right now I'm oscillating between feeling excited that a different way might be possible, and talking myself out of this foolishness. I don't know whether this will come to anything or not. But the idea is seeding at least, and I'm glad for that.

So here are a few more pictures from Womad & a few from Latitude.