Facing the fear / why I am not following my dreams

Today. Today has been one of those challenging work days when you wonder why you're doing it at all.


And then I wonder, why I am doing it at all?

I mean really, what's holding me back from being a super-healer, creative, artist writing type (which I kind of am, but just in my head, not in the actual real world!)

So what is the problem?

Money?

Just lately I had some inheritance (I am very grateful for this, as it was quite unexpected, but it's a shame that your loved ones have to leave for it to arrive, so it's tinged with sadness too). Anyway, this means we have paid off our mortgage and car loan, and we are healthily in the black. So it can't be the money.

Or can it? There's definitely something in this. After all my inner gremlin is still saying the money won't last for ever / you can't make money from these things.....

But that just isn't true! Lots of people are making money from the arts. I can too. What's needed here is belief. Self-belief. It is possible and possible for me, and hopefully you too. Somehow asserting this truth seems significant, and the energy at the moment is supporting BIG PLANS. My big plan is to be living comfortably of the proceeds of my creativity & alternative skills.

Focus?
Up to now I've always considered myself a Jack of all trades, Master of none. And this has certainly been a problem in the past. I'm quite faddish, jumping from one interest to the next. But I've learnt to accept that's the way I am. I am progressing all my interests. And that feels just fine. I'm not sure which will come to fruition. Hopefully all of them! At the moment I'm following them all.

Having a run up?
This still seems like a good idea. Growing all my projects to have a multi-stream income. There are lots of books about this sort of thing. The main thing is to be be doing things everyday towards those plans - even if it's just pondering ....

Ability?
I guess self confidence in our abilities is key. It's hard to get perspective on your own work, so be brave and put it out there. This year I have exhibited my photos for the first time. And it was a great experience. People I didn't know actually bought my pictures. And even those that didn't were very complementary. I would encourage anyone to try this out - I did Open Studios, so we opened our house up to visitors. It was a good first step, and I feel braver as a result. Etsy here I come.

So this is where my thinking is at the minute. It's a start. Hopefully it will continue a bit, at least!